I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
