we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I want to be your penis for a week.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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