eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
