random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
