Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
