i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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