bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
