I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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