are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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