Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize