Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
