i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
