Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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