Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
