I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
