Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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