If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
