I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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