doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
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I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
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So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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