Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
