Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You work out of a Hotel?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
