By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
