On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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