The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
