What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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