I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
