it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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