508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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