we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
