morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I licked your asshole in confidence.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
