it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
