Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
