worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
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noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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