Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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