wake up i wanna do it froggy style
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
