Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
