Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There r osticjed everywhere
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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