He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize