so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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