I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
