Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
