paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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