Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
