Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
