Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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