Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
