Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
