haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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