You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize