you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
