well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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