Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he was CRYING into my vagina
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
