I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
