whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
