fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
