The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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