Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Barsexuality is the new black.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
