Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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