Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
