so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
