I wanna bring you to show and tell
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
