Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
