Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
