Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
